I just bought some new toothpaste, which doesn’t seem like it has to do with food. But in this case—in the case of Tom’s of Maine apricot-flavored toothpaste—it has a little too much to do with it.

When I placed my order on drugstore.com, I didn’t really think it through—I like apricots, I need toothpaste.

And when I first used it, I had no real objection—tastes kinda like apricots, foams up, generally seems to do what’s promised on the plaque-stopping and cavity-preventing fronts.

But after several not-quite-satisfying toothbrushing experiences, I think the truth is that apricot flavoring is just too much like putting more food in your mouth, just when you’re supposed to be cleaning every trace of food from your mouth. It’s very confusing.

Mint—that’s no problem. It’s not a food, just a flavor, and it comes in so many fake-mint varieties, from Wint-o-Mint to Smashmint (the latter only found in the Dutch raver’s favorite gum, Sportlife).

Cinnamon—kinda cheesy in a junior-high, gum-cracking kind of way, but it doesn’t make you think of food. Ayurvedic fennel-and-whatnot—also fine, because my closest flavor associations are with ouzo, which isn’t really food.

But apricot—well, I think of jam, and Austrian omelets filled with the stuff. I think of chewy dried apricots. I think of ‘amr al-din, the hot apricot-puree drink you get in the Middle East during Ramadan. I think of the fruit right off our tree when I was little, really the only good fresh apes I’ve ever had.

What I’m getting around to saying is, I don’t think it’s a good idea to use a toothpaste that just makes you hungry again.