This only loosely has anything to do with what I normally write about here, but damn, I was pissed and ashamed to read about Raed in the Middle being given the runaround for wanting to wear a T-shirt with Arabic writing on a plane in the US. (The BBC also covered the incident.)
The gist is this: he was wearing a T-shirt that says “We will not be silent” in both Arabic and English. It’s a T-shirt that people have been wearing to protest totalitarian governments wherever they may be. Free speech, right on.
The FBI guys actually said they couldn’t trust that the English translation was accurate.
So I will say here what he could not say at the time, lest he be hauled off to jail for making threats:
What, you freakin’ idiots, you think terrorists are going to get on a plane wearing T-shirts that say in Arabic, ‘On the count of 3, hijack the plane’?
Now, I know Arabic is very, very baffling, with all its squiggles, and its dots, and its right-to-lefting. But it is not a dangerous weapon that people should live in fear of. I mean, Americans have enough other things to be afraid of, from pedophiles to global warming, to worry about a foreign language making them a little nervous while they’re on a plane.
That’s sort of the message implicit in two T-shirts I recommend buying:
I’m Not a Terrorist: in both masculine and feminine versions, Ts and tanks, black and white, at low, low prices. No English translation, for enhanced jumpiness-making. (Yes, fusha freaks, I know the masculine version isn’t completely grammatically correct, as it lacks its tanween, but what’re you gonna do? Go kvetch on Language Log.)
If that’s a little too ballsy for you (or, hey, if you’re just not 100% sure), then you can go with this:
Rana Hajjar’s cool-font “New York” T-shirts (and OK, there’s Beirut and Brooklyn too–but no Queens, harrumph)
The clever thing about Rana’s shirts is they’re not immediately obviously Arabic. And then someone asks what your shirt says, and you say, “New York. In Arabic.” And then the person looks a little jumpy. And then you look at them with your eyes narrowed, as if to say, “C’mon, really? You’re worried?” And then they shift a little, and smile, as if to say, “Naw, dude, I’m cool. I’m all multicultural.”
Good Christ, get over it, people. And if you’re so freaked about security on planes, maybe you should go work for TSA yourself. Get your training here:
Thank you for listening to this public service announcement.