Category: Food

I’m an idiot, I’m a genius, I’m an idiot…

I feel incredible smugness at the moment for getting my blog all transferred and working again…as long as I blot out the parts where I totally fucked it up and made the job a thousand times harder than it had to be. I guess we cause problems just to solve them…

The most aggravating part of having my blog be down is that I had nowhere to complain about my various idiotic missteps.

Let the complaining commence afresh! (And let me remind you that the comments are back in action. Crap! They’re not! I don’t know what happened. Back to the fucking drawing board. OMG! I did it!)

Good news, bad news

Good news: After more than six months of quiet, comments are restored! Hooray! Let the interacting begin again!

Bad news: I am so. filled. with. rage. at Yahoo, after I pestered their support repeatedly about the comments problem, after which someone finally admitted it was their fault, and the support staff was “trying its level best” to fix it, but there was no timetable. Of course I never heard from them again.

Turns out all I had to do was upgrade my version of WordPress. Yes, all those feisty comments about the ugly Pistilli buildings are lost, along with everyone else’s bon mots…but that’s OK. I keep them in my heart. Thanks again for nothing, Yahoo support.

The more aggravating part, though, is that in my quest to fix my comments, I decided to move hosts, and leave those stupid Yahoo people and their “level best” in the dust. Now that moving process is underway, which is what caused me to upgrade WordPress. Too late to turn back now. And once I move, I’ll have to redo my whole personal website too because the code will not adapt nicely.

Gnash. Gnash. Gnash.

Upshot is that you probably won’t be seeing this blog for the next few days, while it and the domain are transferred over. Don’t panic. When it’s back, let the comments fly!

Recharging

Even two weeks after my guidebook marathon, my brain feels like a little sponge that has been wrung out completely dry. I can barely form sentences.

While I continue to recover from my writing trauma, please take these entertaining diversions under consideration:

Frappe Nation: Summer is the season for frappe, the best iced-coffee treatment ever. Unfortunately, my stomach is so jacked up from this last period of intense stress that I’ve had to go off the caffeine (and, horrors, the booze!) until everything heals up. It nearly killed me when I saw the adorable little how-to-make-a-frappe video on the site. Only use Greek Nescafe, and drink one for me, please.

Thursday Night Smackdown: Since I can’t currently get it up to do anything more than stare into space and eat wasa bread, please enjoy this other expert home cook and cusser. Scroll back to find the super-hideous Paula Deen smackdown. I’m still shuddering.

All I can say is, thank the sweet lord for the CSA, or I would’ve died of malnutrition weeks ago. Not only am I not the least bit inspired to write, but planning any kind of meal has been beyond me. There’ve been a lot of omelets recently–good omelets!–and lots of salads, but anything that requires specific shopping…I can’t really muster going to the store, because that would require a list, and that would require…writing.

Anyway, talk amongst yourselves. I’ll get it together again soon.

Out of butter?!

We just had a four-alarm moment down in the kitchen: no butter! Fortunately, I’d already buttered our toast, but Peter was wanting more…

I think this is the best evidence of how I’ve really had to shove everything aside to get this guidebook finished. I can’t think of another time in…my whole life?…that I’ve run out of butter.

A couple of weeks ago, I did a little cooking demo at our CSA. The recipe I did was raw zucchini with basil and brown butter. Natch, the first person to wander by and show any interest in what I was doing was a guy who said, “Boy, that sure is a lot of butter you’re using!” in a disapproving tone. Fortunately, some other bystanders noticed the butter-heckler, and started giving him a hard time. “Butter is good!” said another woman, and others nodded. I let them do the talking, because I just could not think of a polite thing to say.

Here’s the recipe, by the way:

Zucchini with brown butter and basil
(serves 4)

* 3 small zucchini (and/or yellow summer squash)
* 1 handful fresh basil
* 3 tbsp butter
* salt
* lemon (optional)

Trim ends off zucchini. With a knife, mandoline or vegetable peeler, slice zucchini lengthwise into thin ribbons. (Impatient? You can also run the squash through the slicer on a Cuisinart, though the results won’t be so pretty. It’s nicer to have long slices, rather than round ones, as they don’t clump together so much, but it’s really only cosmetic.) Mince basil (or chiffonade, if you know/care what that means–again, cosmetic) and toss with the zucchini in a large bowl.

In a small saucepan on high heat, melt butter. It will first foam with fairly large bubbles. As soon as the large bubbles subside and are replaced with a layer of denser foam, pull the saucepan from the heat. There should be dark-brown (but not burnt) toasted bits in the bottom of the pan. (If the butter smokes, you’ve gone too far–toss it and start over.) Immediately pour the hot butter over the zucchini and basil. Sprinkle with salt (to taste) and toss gently, so as not to break up the zucchini slices. (If you like a bit of acid, squeeze half a lemon over the squash and toss again. The lemon goes nicely with the basil, but it’s perfectly good without it as well.)

Serve pretty much immediately. If this sits more than 10 minutes, the zucchini loses a lot of its crunch (and the butter starts to congeal), though it still tastes good.

FEBO

Even though this web page is one of the most frightening on the whole Internet, I’m still putting FEBO in the guidebook.

That web page may depict FEBO’s shocking catalog of deep-fried morsels, which make me both recoil in horror and gawp in fascination (what is frikadel?!). But FEBO is a Dutch cultural institution! And it has automat windows, which are simply the coolest. Who cares if what they sell might kill you?

Besides, the guy who started FEBO died recently. Turns out FEBO (short for FErdinand BOlstraat, where he had a bakery job–I did not know that) prided itself on providing fresh, not frozen, product to all its franchises. Heartwarming.

Or heart-stopping. You decide–I’m giving addresses, phone numbers, opening times and nearest tram stops.

Dream Omelet

Oh, Onion, stop! I can’t breathe, I’m laughing so hard!

Chef Cooks Dream Omelet seems innocuous enough…until you get more of the details of the dream. The reference to teeth falling out is especially resonant.

Later today I’m doing a little cooking demo for our CSA. I’m very, very tempted to take it in this direction.