Category: Travails of a Guidebook Author

New Mexico #2: A Tale of Two Stews

The first place I headed on my trip was Shiprock, New Mexico. Not sure why–but I just feel better if I go the farthest-away places first, and get them out of the way. Long ago, I’d heard there was mutton stew on the menu at the KFC. When I called to confirm, the guy who answered the phone said, “Hell yeah man, we got it” in a very New Mexican accent. That proud response has echoed in my head ever since, so of course I stopped at the KFC first thing.

The KFC has been spruced up and moved since I was there last. It’s about the only thing that has been spruced up and moved.

I walked in and stood in line. I was the only non-Navajo in the place. And I was the only person to order the Navajo food on the menu: mutton stew with a side of frybread.

While I was waiting, I managed to spill my ice tea all over, and got to chatting with the woman who mopped it up. After I sat down with my stew, Linda came out on her break and said, “Can I eat with you?”

So nice! This never happens to me, the lonesome travel writer. Linda and I chatted about Shiprock–no new businesses, she said, except…guess what it is? I could not even begin to imagine what Shiprock might already have too many of. Give up?

A laundromat. Apparently, they need more laundromats in Shiprock like they need holes in their head, but here’s a new one opening up.

I asked her about the air pollution–it seemed better since the last time I was here, I said. Maybe the regulations on the coal plant made a difference? She said she hadn’t noticed a thing, but admitted, “Maybe I’m just too rezzed out, you know?”

All the while, I was eating my stew. It was terrible.

KFC Mutton Stew

Completely bland, with “baby” carrots bobbing in the watery broth, and pieces of meat that were all mysterious gristle. I eyed Linda’s fried chicken with envy.

"Under Construction"Still, I left that late lunch so happy, so nourished. A stranger had chatted me up, laughed at me (for ordering the “Navajo stew”) and with me, and given me advice (stew across street is better, but it’s best at the flea market, where you can sit in the air and the dust). I told Linda I’d keep an eye out for her at the new laundromat, and drove off to see what they’d done with Four Corners, now that it has moved.

Much later in the trip, I ate some more mutton stew, at the Pueblo Harvest Cafe in the Indian Pueblo Cultural Center in Albuquerque. The place has been given a makeover and now it looks like pretty much any casual restaurant in a pueblo casino (even though there’s not a casino here), and the menu is all over the place. But the mutton stew was really good. Thick and lamby, with great bread on the side. I wish I’d ordered a bowl, not just a cup.

Mutton Stew

But I ate it all alone.

I can’t bring myself to axe the KFC from the guidebook, even though it’s a terrible meal–who knows what other adventures readers might have when they stop in? Likewise, I can’t get really feverishly excited about the Pueblo Harvest Cafe, but maybe if I’d been sharing the meal with someone…

This is a prime example of the guidebook writer’s dilemma–recommend fundamental quality, or experience? I wrote about this same problem a few years ago, using some examples closer to home in Astoria, Queens. I guess it’s just a lesson I have to keep learning…

New Mexico #1: Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn
Flickr sets here and here

New Mexico #1: Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn

All that earlier rambling about vintage hotels was really leading up to my New Mexico trip: I had been thinking you couldn’t get a proper vintage hotel in the United States. Too much newness and constant improvement here. Things aren’t allowed to slip into dusty grandeur and stay there–someone always has to come along and point and shout and say, “Golly, look at my old-timey place, with Route 66 upholstery on the chairs!”

Budget Host Melody LaneBut I did find a place. It’s really a vintage motel. It’s the Budget Host Melody Lane in Raton, NM. It’s not dripping with Americana, though it does have a nice (but nonworking) neon sign out front. It’s just an impeccably kept up motor court, replete with wood paneling, even on the oh-so-midcentury slanted ceilings.

And it has in-room steam saunas (brand name: Thermasol Suites). I can’t tell you how splendid this is. Whenever I stay at a fancy hotel with a spa, I tell myself I’m going to go use the sauna, and if I actually do, it turns out to be this dreary little room off the side of the ladies’ dressing room, and it’s never open when you want, and so on. But…this was in my room! I could saunify, and roll straight into bed! I could roll out of bed, and straight into the sauna!

Thermasol Suites

The owners say they keep the Thermasol Suites running with spare parts they buy on the Internet, thank goodness. They say the Thermasol Suites were not original to the motel, but probably added sometime in the 1970s. They say the place is so clean because the woman used to be a nun. I say it’s the most fabulous night’s rest I’ve had in recent years, and it cost me less than $60. That’s cheaper than going to a day spa.

And it left me with the exact same glowing love of the past that I’ve gotten at the best vintage hotels in foreign countries. I never thought I’d say it, but I can’t wait to go back to Raton.

In other hotel news from New Mexico, I do have to give credit to El Rancho in Gallup, NM. It’s not really proper “vintage hotel” caliber because it is too self-conscious about being a tourist attraction. But it’s well kept up and not flashy. In the lobby, Beverly and I ogled furniture made out of cattle horns and signed photos of stars we’d never heard of, then slept soundly in our motel room for $54.

And how can you not love a sign like this?

El Rancho Hotel

Yup: that says “Charm of yesterday, convenience of tomorrow.” (Except the lobby wi-fi wasn’t working in the morning, and we heard a girl say, “Convenience of tomorrow, my ass.”)

Or like this?

Flickr sets here and here

On “Vintage” Hotels

This past winter, when we were in Bangkok and staying at the totally fabulous Hotel Atlanta, I realized there’s a very particular kind of lodging I like.

For want of a better term, I think I’ll call them “vintage hotels.” [Edited in 2014 to add: Now we have a popular common reference point, thanks to Wes Anderson: The Grand Budapest Hotel, circa 1968.] “Antique hotels” might also work. “Nostalgia bivouacs” are what they really are. And the funny thing is that Peter, he of the Edison bulbs and steam trains, thinks I like these hotels more than he does. Maybe he’s right–I sure have spent a lot of time thinking about what makes one of these hotels exactly what it is.

These hotels must be old-fashioned. But not self-consciously so. Certainly, the owner may have a “things were better in the old days” attitude, but he can’t be out scouring yard sales for old telephone switchboards and other doohickeys to create a “ye olde” decorating scheme. No–that old telephone switchboard has to just be left over from the old days, hulking behind the reception desk.

These hotels usually have old and cranky owners. Years of watching standards slip all around them have strengthened their resolve to do things the right way, even if the desert sands are blowing in, the drunken yahoos are crashing into the bars next door or the country in which they’re situated is finally shaking off its colonial shackles.

But enough generalizations. Perhaps it’s easier to explain the concept with some examples.

In Cairo, Pension Roma is the quintessential vintage hotel. The owner is a French woman (despite the fact she was born in Egypt and will die in Egypt), and she rules the place with an iron fist. The sheets are crisp, the furniture is shiny, there is no dust in the corners, and she even sews little cozies to cover up the propane tanks for the hot-water heaters. Of course there are chandeliers and a rattly open elevator.

I don’t have a picture of the Roma, so here’s a photo from the extremely vintage Cairo Agriculture Museum instead:

Fun in the Agricultural Museum

In Bangkok, the aforementioned Hotel Atlanta is at the end of one of the main Sukhumvit sois for sex tourism. The facade of the hotel is covered with cranky “no sex tourists!” signs, but inside, the crankiness is dispersed into all kinds of details: a book full of cynical travel tips, drink coasters with mean-spirited quotes from the previous owner, and a theoretical ‘guests only’ policy in the hotel restaurant. This would all be oppressive, except the writing desks have little fans in the bottom, to keep your legs cool, and there’s a giant swimming pool ringed with photos of it being used in more glamorous times. The rooms are nothing special, but that barely matters, when you’ve got counter help this charming:

Working Phone Switchboard

In Campeche, Mexico, my absolute favorite hotel in the world is the Hotel Colonial. No one’s very cranky here, fortunately, but there is an old patriarch who sits in a chair dozing all day, and the business cards look like they haven’t been reprinted since 1964. The rooms may be slightly smaller than they used to be, because they’re covered every year or two in a fresh layer of glossy paint in Easter-egg colors. And eff Frette–the sheets here are the best ever for hot weather: crisply starched and almost rough like muslin. The owner buys them from somewhere special in Mexico City. Rooms cost less than $20 per night.

Here’s a montage I made last summer, after my at-least-fifth visit:

Finally, I have to give a shout-out to Garden City House, also in Cairo. Long, echoing hallways with patterned tile floors, rooms with high ceilings, dreary salmon-pink paint and enormous bathtubs, and of course the requisite old telephone switchboard–but overall a little too ratty to count as a proper vintage hotel.

Then, the day I checked out, I was sitting by the desk, chatting with the guy there, and the chintzy plastic phone on his desk rings–this little horrible made-in-China ‘tinky-rink-rink’ noise. He answers the phone, nods, and then gets up and walks around the desk to the switchboard…where he casually moves the plugs around to transfer the call to a guestroom!

My eyes nearly fell out of my head.

Damn. If I had known, I would’ve been giving people my phone number there right and left! That’s why I made sure to sit at the writing desk in the Atlanta and write some postcards. Vintage hotels are like museums you get to live in.

Do you like these kind of hotels? Have any recommendations for me?

Amsterdam #6: Surprise and Delight, with Bonus Soundscape

I had one solid day of fantastic sonic stimulation, documented below, but there were many other days full of surprises. Amsterdam is great for this kind of thing–everywhere you turn, it seems, someone is pulling some odd stunt or staging an experimental something or showing off his/her lifelong obsession.

It’s the kind of vibe that makes this such a friendly city to pot-smokers. (I mean, in addition to the very fact that you can buy the stuff with ease.) You know that feeling when you’re high, and you feel like whatever you’re looking at/listening to/eating must surely have been designed just for stoned people? Well, even if you don’t–Amsterdam is like that all the time, even if you’re sober. Everything seems to have been put there to surprise and delight. (Unlike some cities, where you feel like everything has been put there to make you feel put-upon, stressed-out and unwelcome.)

I write a guidebook to Amsterdam, but honestly, it’s not the best way to see the city. Yes, there are a few things where it helps to have a guide to check the opening hours and how to get there on the tram. But Amsterdam shows its best parts only when you wander along aimlessly and poke your head around interesting corners, into odd museums, into appealing bars. You never know what you’ll see. Or hear.

The first bit is totally missing the beauty of Yoko Seyama’s work In Soil, at the Nederlands Institut voor Mediakunst. I am a sucker for any art installation that involves walking into a dark room and losing your sense of space. The visuals for this don’t show up on the camera, but click the link to see one image.

The second clip is from the Pianola Museum, a “museum” that’s open maybe one day a week. (I think they call themselves a museum so they can get nonprofit status.) But it was Museum Weekend, which meant free entry.

Finally, I went out to see this random band, Bob Billy, with some friends. Immediately transported back to 1993 or so. I wish they lived in NYC.

Earlier:
Amsterdam #1: Photos
Amsterdam #2: Two Examples of Dutch Literalism
Amsterdam #3: Adventures in Croquettes
Amsterdam #4: The Good Food
Amsterdam #5: You’ll Eat What I’m Cooking

Amsterdam #5: You’ll Eat What I’m Cooking

In addition to the freelance food, I had another distinctly Amsterdammy dining experience near the end of my trip, at a restaurant with an extremely limited menu. Lots of restaurants in Amsterdam serve just one thing each night, and you either like it or you don’t (though there’s usually a vegetarian option too). I hate the tyranny of choice, so I love these restaurants. All you control freaks out there: I can’t tell you how nice it is to sit back and just say, “Bring it.”

This particular restaurant was called CousCous Club, and it serves…couscous. Three kinds–with veg, with veg and a little meat, and with veg and a lot of meat. There are three kinds of dessert too. Two wines–red or white. Oh, and three cocktails–a touch that seems positively decadent. The couscous was good and cheap, and our server was extremely sweet, which doesn’t happen very often in Amsterdam.

I ate at another set-menu restaurant, Marius, earlier in the trip. I remember enjoying it immensely, but because I also drank all the suggested wines (mmm, Saumur!), I don’t remember any of the details. Damn–I hate when I do that. But thanks to Chef Kees anyway, and to Rod and Lieselotte, who spotted me cash, even though I was supposed to be treating them. I hate when I do that too.

Speaking of distinctly Amsterdammy food situations, it was Amsterdam where I first got the idea for a supper club, in 2000, I think it was. I met someone who was going around to other people’s houses and cooking big Indonesian dinners for whoever showed, for a flat amount per head.

Took me another year to implement it back in NYC, in the form of Operation Roving Gastronome. Took me another year to realize I couldn’t make it a money-earning endeavor, even though the Indonesian woman somehow had–Amsterdam can be a little magic when it comes to money.

Then it was another couple of years later that I wound up falling into another supper club situation, as mine and Tamara’s dinners got out of control. And another couple of years till the book deal… And tonight I ate cold pizza for dinner. I need to get the Amsterdam creative spirit back.

Whee!
tilt-a-whirl

Earlier:
Amsterdam #1: Photos
Amsterdam #2: Two Examples of Dutch Literalism
Amsterdam #3: Adventures in Croquettes
Amsterdam #4: The Good Food

Amsterdam #4: The Good Food

Not to be a total downer on the food front. I did have a few amazing treats. The first white asparagus of the season–so sweet and succulent–was at someone’s house, so I can’t help you with that. But I can tell you to go to ‘t Mandje on the Zeedijk on Wednesdays at 5pm for the most amazing oysters you will ever eat.

These oysters are enormous!

Normally, I avoid anything when someone tells me first how big it is, and then later how good it is. When it comes to food, ‘large’ is almost always a bad sign. Except for with these oysters. I didn’t know they could grow that big. They were bigger than my hand.

And yes, they tasted amazing. I really like oysters, but I’ve never had an oh-my-god-that’s-mind-blowing oyster moment, one where I remember exactly what the oyster tasted like and where I was eating it.

These–I’ll remember. They’re from Zeeland, in the brackish inlets. They were sweet, almost like scallops, underneath the perfect amount of brininess. And delightfully slick, but also meaty and, due to their size, requiring a bit of chewing to get them all down.

And they cost 1.50 euros apiece. When Peter asked the guy selling them–a certain Vic van Koningsbruggen–why they were so cheap, he answered, “I want to make a difference.”


Vic also takes cheese to another old bar on the Zeedijk, In de Ooievaar, on Monday afternoons. Such a lovely atmosphere–nothing like a sunny afternoon bar, and a piece of bread with a thick slab of salted butter on it. The salt crystals glimmered like mica. As for proper cheese, there was Calvados-washed raw-milk camembert. This is the kind of thing they’re just casually eating in Europe all the time, those bastards.

Amsterdam is very friendly to this ad-hoc process of food in bars–Vic is just a freelance food dude, who likes these bars and wouldn’t mind earning a little drinking money. It’s something we could use more of in NYC. Does anyone know of people that do this? If I were in town regularly, I’d do it at a local bar. But I suspect everyone here is a little too busy with their real, important lives to do something like this on the side.

Earlier:
Amsterdam #1: Photos
Amsterdam #2: Two Examples of Dutch Literalism
Amsterdam #3: Adventures in Croquettes

Amsterdam #3: Adventures in Croquettes

The last time I was in Amsterdam, I made quite a few great food discoveries. This time…I guess there was no more to discover?

My eating despair could be summarized in my last dinner. I was staying at the Lloyd Hotel. The menu is very straightforward (see Post #1): headings for ‘Eggs’ and ‘Fried’, with one- or two-word descriptors. I used to rail against overwritten menus, but now I see they’re useful for stimulating the appetite.

I ordered “arugula salad” and “sweetbreads.” The waiter cocked his head slightly, then nodded and walked off. A bit later, the salad arrived. Two minutes later, along came a small plate with two croquettes.

I’ll pause here to explain croquettes (kroketten) a little bit. They’re wads of really thick white sauce with some unidentified bits of meat, shaped into a bloated-Vienna-sausage form, then rolled in bread crumbs and deep-fried. Kids and old people put two of them on a fluffy white roll and call it a sandwich. I’ve had good ones, and I’ve had horrifying ones.

Last spring, I noticed the Spanish eat them too. I assumed they were a French thing. But I met a French woman on this trip who shuddered at the mere mention and said that in France, croquette means ‘dog biscuit.’ I surmise the kroketcroqueta link was forged back when Spain ruled the Netherlands. Maybe the various Old Master painters who went to Spain to pain for the court brought the fried nuggets back? Gastro-historians, please investigate.

So I thought these croquettes I received with my salad were some kind of comped appetizer, even though the Dutch don’t play that game. I ate them, and waited. And waited. Eventually, I realized I was full anyway, and hauled myself off to bed to digest.

I would write some funny kicker here, but it seems more accurate to leave it as is, on that fairly dismal note.

Six utterly uninspiring words:

Sausages in the train station HEMA. Are these meant to be brought as hostess gifts? This particular type of sausage was memorialized on a postage stamp recently, by the way.

Well, at least the liquorice isn’t a total loss. Hey–what?!

Earlier:
Amsterdam #1: Photos
Amsterdam #2: Two Examples of Dutch Literalism

Amsterdam #2: Two Examples of Dutch Literalism

The Dutch are very literal, practical, down-to-earth, commonsensical. Stereotyping, but what the heck–it’s usually true. I encountered several subtle examples while I was in Amsterdam. Among them:

Everyone’s cell phone’s ring-tone is “ringing phone.” That’s what I have my phone set to in the US, and I may seem like a total square, but I least I know for sure when it’s my phone ringing because I’m the only one in the whole country under 80 who thinks this is what a phone should sound like. In Amsterdam, I was reaching for my phone every 10 minutes, because someone sitting near me in a cafe was inevitably also a total square. Except there, it was normal.

My friend Adriana stopped through on a layover one day. She had flown in on KLM, and she said that in KLM economy class, the little decorative covers on the headrests say “Economy.” Not “Tempo” or some other euphemism. Not nothing at all, which is what airlines that haven’t thought up a euphemism do. “Economy.”

There was a third item, but I’ve forgotten it now. But you get the idea. This attitude can be refreshing when you come to visit Amsterdam for the first time. After long familiarity, though, it can seem a tad bleak and passionless. Especially when it creeps down into food. Which I’ll get to…

In the meantime, a rare example of Dutch whimsy: cheese slices shaped like Easter bunnies.

cheese slices shaped like rabbits

Earlier:
Amsterdam #1: Photos

Amsterdam #1: Photos

I complained on Twitter that Amsterdam is a bitch of a place to take photos. Somehow, the light is always bad. During the so-called golden hour, when everything looks beautiful, the sun is actually so low in the sky that everything around you is in darkness. And if the sun is any higher, it’s harsh. And most of the time, there’s haze or cloud cover that adds an awful glare.

But I got some good pics. And in several posts to follow next week, I’ll have a few bonus photos.

Amsterdam…the second installment