This is great news! I like phrases like “veritable foodie paradise” and “$60 million restoration of the Battery Maritime Building.” Also, I deeply appreciate the words “having learned from the touristification of South Street Seaport.”

Why do I care, seeing how the Battery Maritime Building couldn’t be farther from where I live? Because San Francisco has a place like this, and I’m jealous. In fact, almost every decent city has a massive food hall. Come to think of it, what do tourists do when they come to NYC? Because when I travel, the market is the first place I visit.

Here, you’ve got your Whole Foods, which is slick and dull. Your Dean & Deluca, which is small and snotty. Your Chelsea Market, which is horribly, horribly lit and has depressing acoustics. And your new Balducci’s, which is enh, but at least is handily located for Karine and gives out lots of free samples.

Foooood haaaaalllll. Yessss, that’s what will make this city truly shine! Perhaps I will rent a stall, so I can sell unsolicited advice, and passionfruit curd.