I’ve been so sunk in despair, I couldn’t bring myself to type the terrible words: Tamara and I are not going to be the next Chivas Life Editors.

What essential social role might this be? Well, we’d have been the paired equivalent of this guy. Most important, we would’ve been paid $100K to travel the world and report back on the fabulous, glamorous, tasteful, exhilirating Chivas-y adventures we had. We had visions of partying in Senegal or Ghana, partying in Belgrade, partying in Lviv, and saunaing in Finland. Well, it was a little more refined than that, but that’s all I can remember now.

Frankly, I can’t imagine why we weren’t picked. I don’t know anyone more qualified than us. But I suppose that’s the same flawed logic behind not understanding how Bush got elected. It’s a big country. And, now that it’s all over, I can safely admit I still get Chivas Regal and Crown Royal confused.