I’m at a job in an office, waiting for work to come my way, so I’ll actually do one of those things that office-job people do: a clever meme post!
From the British Very Good Taste blog, here’s a list of 100 things any good omnivore should’ve tried. A few years ago, I thought I’d aspire to taste everything possible. Now that kind of accomplishment makes me feel a little tired–maybe if every flavor of the world were brought to me on a little platter, while I reclined on the couch? (Maybe with a bucket next to me, for when we got to the balut.) I would also consider being whisked via first-class Asian airline to the source of the flavor.
In the meantime, here’s at least what I have eaten, in bold:
1. Venison Shot by a friend, put out of its misery by my husband.
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros* Practically the official state food of New Mexico.
4. Steak tartare In Dutch, this is called toost kannibaal. My mom remembers when there used to be street carts selling it in Amsterdam.
5. Crocodile — Er, I don’t think, buy maybe I’m forgetting?
6. Black pudding Made by a French Canadian in the Dominican Republic. Of course.
7. Cheese fondue* En Suisse, and en Indiana. Very different experiences, as you might imagine.
8. Carp — perhaps? Isn’t that what all generic white fish is, deep down?
9. Borscht*
10. Baba ghanoush* Seven years of Mid East Studies were good for something.
11. Calamari*
12. Pho*
13. PB&J sandwich*
14. Aloo gobi*
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream One day I got a scoop from Australian Homemade, and it was so mind-blowingly good, I was walking down the street wanting to tell someone about it. And on the very next corner I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in ages. Serendipity from a scoop.
21. Heirloom tomatoes* Best: in Bulgaria. They were pink. Do they count as ‘heirloom’ if that’s just what grows naturally in a place? At any rate, I also grew some heirloom guys on my balcony one year. They weren’t all that sensational.
22. Fresh wild berries Strawberries outside Oslo, blueberries in New Jersey, blackberries by the side of the road in Spain.
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans*
25. Brawn, or head cheese A sample from Astoria’s now-lost Hungarian grocery, alas. Too bad it bounced in my mouth like a rubber ball, and I had to smile gratefully.
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche*
28. Oysters*
29. Baklava*
30. Bagna cauda*
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl — Never with the sourdough bowl. Although I did eat spinach dip out of a sourdough bowl. Surely that counts for something?
33. Salted lassi*
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float*
36. Cognac with a fat cigar Ah, college.
37. Clotted cream tea I’m assuming this means clotted cream on top of some scone-y business, with tea? Because clotted cream in tea would be vile.
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O Ah, college.
39. Gumbo*
40. Oxtail*
41. Curried goat*
42. Whole insects — I tried, in Montreal, but was foiled.
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more Ah, investment banker friends.
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala*
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut Straight outta the glaze waterfall and into my waiting gullet. Hot now, motherfuckas!
50. Sea urchin Straight outta the sea and into my waiting gullet.
51. Prickly pear Did you know this is the one fruit that will seriously constipate you? Handy info, sometimes.
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone It’s black. I didn’t realize.
54. Paneer*
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle*
57. Dirty gin martini*
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips Thank god that was a passing 70s fad.
61. S’mores*
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs — I feel like I have, but you’d think I’d remember such a thing…
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears or funnel cake* How can anyone not have eaten this? Isn’t fried dough a universal?
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain*
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette Chitlins, good; andouillette, I’m still sorry about.
71. Gazpacho*
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe — Is Louche a brand? Ah, who cares–I’ve drunk homemade absinthe, and did not go blind or crazy.
74. Gjetost, or brunost Yummy. Candy cheese!
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu — Count me for half, as I’ve drunk soju.
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail*
79. Lapsang souchong*
80. Bellini*
81. Tom yum*
82. Eggs Benedict*
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare — I guess not hare, but I did once buy a whole rabbit at a market in Barcelona. They crunched its little walnutty skull in half with a pair of shears.
87. Goulash*
88. Flowers
89. Horse — Not for lack of trying. Our Dutch connection failed. Can I substitute whale*?
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab*
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish*
95. Mole poblano*
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta*
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake
Total score: 83 (I think. I got distracted by a workplace discussion of hugging parties. See what happens while people are “at work”?)
*I should get extra credit for having actually cooked a lot of these things (marked with an asterisk above), including the non-listed whale. (Well, not a whole whale…) I didn’t count sweetbreads because I cooked those in a restaurant kitchen, under orders–not of my own volition. (Though now I know how–the power is mine! Mwa-ha-ha!)
If I had a regular office job and time to kill between showing off yoga poses (for real! that’s what’s happening now!), I would go ahead and make the Omnivorous Home Cook’s 100 Fabulous Accomplishments list. Item No. 1: Whole roast lamb.
Any other ideas?