Because I’ve been too busy to do any real thinking about anything but bus schedules and synonyms for “beach,” I’m handing the reins over to the talented Ms. Adriana (though she doesn’t even know it). Here’s a handy tip that _could_ end in tragedy!

anyhow, do you know how to make dulce de leche from a can of condensed milk?
it’s ridiculously easy, and good, and I have the tendency to re-package it in a glass jar if i’m taking it to give to someone , so that it doesn’t look so easy. [I’m _sure_ she means this theoretically. And did I say her name is Adriana? I meant to say her _assumed_ name is Adriana.]

fill up a pot with water and put a can of condensed milk in (peel the label off. For some reason, I like to put the can in upside-down. The can should be just covered with water. Put a lid on the pot and set the flame to really low (like what you use for rice in the last 15-20 minutes). Leave it on for five hours, or six if the flame is particularly low. If the water level is just right, the lid on the pot will pop up from the steam twice every minute or so, making an adorable little popping sound.

Wait until it’s cooled off a little bit, and then open. It should gush out from the pressure.

This is all presuming that it didn’t explode while you were making it. It hasn’t happened to me, but my mom warns me about the possibility. [That’s what moms are for.]

I like the part about gushing out. When Adriana mentioned this to me, I asked her what one does with dulce de leche, besides eat it by the spoonful while standing with the fridge door open. She recommends smearing it between cookies to make alfajores. I can’t argue with that. In fact, I think I’ll go have a spoonful of dulce de leche while I look around my cupboard for some cookies…

OK, I can’t help but share the slightly disappointing end of the story. I did try this. It was delicious. Perfect sugary gooey caramelly. Nothing exploded. It was warm and gushing. So I went to the store to buy more condensed milk, and right next to the condensed milk is canned dulce de leche, in the same kind of can. Clearly, they thought of this trick at their factory–maybe, like all delicious food inventions, it was an “accident” on the part of some hapless underpaid worker bee, who dropped a can off the flat he was carrying into the, um, pot of rice he was cooking for lunch? Still, it’s worth trying just for the brilliant alchemy of it. Even (especially?) if it does explode.