First, the second episode of my podcast is up–check it at Cooking in Real Time. Don’t worry–the first episode was really short, so you can still claim you got in on the ground floor. It’s like having the second issue of McSweeney’s.

Then: Can I just ask all of you out there in blogland to concentrate very hard for a few minutes and imagine my passport arriving via Priority Mail first thing tomorrow morning?

Because, as I’ve mentioned, I’m leaving for Spain on Tuesday. And I do not have my passport in hand. I’m sweatin’.

I sent it off to the Syrian embassy in DC for a visa back in mid-February. I did this way ahead because I knew I wouldn’t have enough time to get it after I got back from Spain.

Funny to think back now, and remember how I did briefly look into getting a second passport–which they dole out for cases just like this. “Eesh, so expensive,” I thought then, “and I’ve got plennnnty of time!”

Somehow, though, the initial sharpness and efficiency of the Syrians (I’m not even being sarcastic here, people–I’ve gotten my visa from them very promptly in the past) devolved into this nail-biting situation in which my passport allegedly went in the mail just on Wednesday. Ack! All because I admitted I was a writer on my application, so someone helpfully took the initiative to get me a journalist visa. (Let this be a lesson–I don’t like to lie, but normally I write it more sloppily, so people can misread it as ‘waiter.’)

The passport is in a stamped, self-addressed Priority Mail envelope. No tracking number, though, because I couldn’t figure out the logistics to do that in advance. So the uncertainty is now driving me insane. If it doesn’t show up tomorrow…do I panic and shell out mad $$$ for an appointment at the hellmouth they call the US Passport Agency on Hudson Street? (Don’t make me go back there! I saw someone go insane and start screaming and pounding the plexiglas window–and it was an employee!)

Or do I white-knuckle it and just trust it will absolutely arrive Tuesday morning? My flight leaves at 5.30pm from La Guardia.

So, um, a little imaging, please, on my behalf? Imagine my passport, sitting there in its envelope over at the post office on 21st Street, in a soft glow of white light, just waiting to go on the truck in a few short hours. Honest, I will be delighted to be awoken by the doorbell!