A couple days later, and I’m still a little more agitated than is healthy over this Amateur Gourmet video on Food2.

First, I was planning a big trash-talk smackdown, pro-wrestling style. I’d gotten halfway into my spandex unitard and was starting to tease out my hair, and then I had a twinge. That developed into more of grad-school-y relativist approach. Now I’ve backed down from saying the Amateur Gourmet’s omelette was WRONG. It’s just different. Different in a way I wouldn’t want to eat.

So I devoted this week’s Cooking in Real Time episode to a polite, positive corrective.

Don’t get me wrong–I love the Amateur Gourmet video. It’s totally entertaining. Adam Roberts is hilarious, and so is his neighbor. The clip is goofy, and I’m a sucker for goofy. There should be more TV shows with talking pasta boxes and not-slick-looking people.

It’s just that…uh, if you follow the AG’s advice–and that of Chef Dude Whoever–you’ll wind up with a crappy omelette. (Unless it’s Opposite Day–in which case their advice will turn out a lovely tender omelette with perfectly melted cheese and a nice soft texture in the middle!)

Fine, I understand–TV is entertainment first. Or, really, money-making first, then entertaining, then maybe if you learn a little something you’re lucky. But caring so little about the end result (whether your omelette is nice and fluffy and soft or just a blob of scrambled eggs shaped in a circle with some cheese slapped in there) seems like bad practice.

If the Food Network cares so little about the actual food, perhaps it can change its name to the Fun and Money Network? I’d settle for that.

I also get that the Food Network has to cover its ass and tell you to cook your eggs all the way through. But if you do that…well, again, you wind up with something that’s a bad omelette.

But, good lord, there is no legal reason to tell people to beat their eggs for 2 or 3 minutes! That is just a silly waste of time. See the video for the right different way.